The Alpha turned Loner: KODA

Subject: The Alpha turned Loner: KODA Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:43 pm

MALE
06-24-13
NONE
GOOGLE (LOL)
Character Information

Name:
KODA
Age:
2
Gender:
Male
Species:
Grey Wolf (Timber Wolf)
Pack:
Kachle
Rank:
"Loner"

Appearance:
Koda is a normal Grey Wolf. A grey coat with a white under belly. then his legs turn back into the top grey and all four of his paws are white. His tail is grey on top and on the underside it is white and goes up to the tip. He has yellow eyes and a scar going from his right temple down his face and to the bottom of his neck on the left side. He is bulky.

Personality:
He is a very analitical person. watching and observing the world around him. He is a pacifist but has never backed down from a fight and has never lost. He is kind hearted and gives everyone a fair chance. never judging someone before he knows them. He respects those above and below his rank. Always quick to help with anything. Head strong but focused on the task.

In a few words. Analitical, calm, patient, determined, and generous.

History:
Koda was the leader of a strong, old, and rather large pack. A full pack of thirteen loyal wolves that they had been friends since birth. their families had been brought together by the death of his grand great grandmother. His grand great grandfather and his grand great uncle had fallen in love with the same women but were from different families that had a quarrel with each other for a while. Then she died trying to stop them both from killing each other in a fight for her to be one of their mate. after her death they agreed to honor her death by joining packs.

Koda and his pack were happy and lived peaceful lives until a wandering pack of alphas crossed their land and tried to take the pups of his pack. The fight lasted what felt like days but was over in a matter of moments. With Koda having to leave before the pack had arrived to hide his pregnant mate Elaina. He returned to his pack to help with the fight only to watch the only other standing wolf from his pack, his brother Clay, have his throat ripped out by four other giant alphas. Koda howled in rage and darted for them when the largest wolf jumped down on top of him and clawed his face to pieces. he heard his mate howl out in pain and all he could was roll over and watch as his mate was raped and shredded to nothing. He thought he would never wake up again but they had not killed him. They had left him with a hollow heart and a vengeance for his family and pack. He now wanders endlessly looking for the alpha pack. But he knows he cannot take them down alone, and he asks every pack he comes across if they would take him in and call him one of their own. the only thing he wants more than killing the Alpha pack is to be apart of another pack. have a home. So this is his story. This is his legacy. a thirst for vengeance and a yearning for a home.

Subject: Re: The Alpha turned Loner: KODA Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:09 am

Hey Koda,

The biography form itself:

Wondering what happened to the first bit of the biography, it should include the subjects. Such as gender, join date, other characters, and who referred you. (It should show those key words)

The rank we sort of messed up on, we do apologize for that, we want the desired rank in the pack for your character, if your character was not yet decided on a pack, than it would be loner.

The picture of your wolf cannot be the default avatar of the site.

Your appearance needs to be longer and more detailed, include things such as, height, weight, length of body, length of tail, and other things such as those.

Personality:
The personality is too short, it needs to be at least 200 words and yours is 68. Pacifists often back down from fights, or walk away from them, that is the meaning of pacifist. The chosen pack may not fit well with this characters personality as kind, generous, respectful, and friendly are far from the Kachle pack traits.

History:
First off, your wolf is 2 years old, there is no way that he was an alpha of an old, strong, and large pack, or even a pack in general unless he ran off from his birth pack and started a small pack with a chosen mate. Wolves, kill each other for mates, and for the alpha position in packs, that's normal. The female would not stop the two males, and the packs would not merge, that is anything but realistic.

As well, there is no such thing as a pack of alpha's, there is an alpha, and their mate, but not a pack, they'd kill each other for the position. To continue on, wolves will sometimes take female wolves and basically use them for breeding purposes, but raping a female wolf and then killing her is unheard of. In fact, when she's pregant, she is most likely at one of her most 'unattractive' phases.

Grammar
We do ask for proper punctuation, and full sentences.

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