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 Treya the Cursed Wolf

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Posts : 1
Points : 20
Join date : 2013-10-15
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PostSubject: Treya the Cursed Wolf    Treya the Cursed Wolf  EmptyMon Oct 21, 2013 3:00 pm

Out of Character Information

Date Joined: 10/21/13
RP Characters: Treya.

Who Referred You:

Character Information

Name: Treya.
Gray wolf.
Treya the Cursed Wolf  2Q==
*I do not own the picture above.*
Treya is a black wolf with silver-blue eyes. At the tip of her tail their is a shock of silverish white. Her physique is average and she is smaller than most wolves. She has no claws and tries to be the best healer she can be to make up for it. She has thick fur and lightning quick paws. Her teeth are extra sharp and strong from excessive use. She has a scar running from the base of her skull to her forehead down her black nose. This gives the notion that she is cursed due to the beliefs of her previous pack.  

Treya is a silent, mysterious wolf who has endured many hardships from her old pack Isentras (This pack is fake and any relation or similarity is by coincidence). She is very sentimental and fears being ridiculed. She tries to avoid fights in every way she can. Although peaceful she is strong-headed and stubborn and at times selfish. Being in Isentras hardened her heart to others physical pain. It was what she had to do to survive. Even through all of these flaws, no matter how suspicious you are of her, she is loyal to a fault, she'll kill for you if you ordered. She has a great ominous howl that will chill the marrow of any wolf and send them on the run.  

It all started when her father Caspian, Alpha of the pack, had an affair with a female wolf named Rumor. Realizing his mistake, Caspian went swiftly back to his mate Florenza and tried to cover up the evidence. Eventually he strayed again this time speaking to Rumor false promises and fancies, and eventually getting her pregnant. Caspian, desperate to save his honor, convinced Rumor to murder Florenza. It was easy, and they got away with it scott free. No one batted an eye. No one ever guessed that there beloved Alpha would do such a thing.
Spring came and Caspian took Rumor as his mate, she gave birth to a pup and named him Revelry (unknowing that Xerxes was the reincarnation of Florenza). Revelry killed Caspian in his old age and took Rumor as his mate. Rumor died birthing pups that she was too old to have, only one survived. Her name was Treya. Revelry was a cruel ruler and treated Treya poorly, he hated her and married her off to one of his subjects. Treya fearing marriage found out that her mate wasn't as horrifying after all and eagerly married. Revelry realized his mistake and deemed Treya a witch, teared out her claws, and scratched open her skull, leaving her to bleed to death. Her mate died saving her in the end. She's been running ever since.

Last edited by treya on Mon Oct 21, 2013 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I didn't realize there was already a wolf named Xerxes so I changed the name of Treyas father, I hope no offense was taken.)
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Posts : 57
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Join date : 2013-02-24
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PostSubject: Re: Treya the Cursed Wolf    Treya the Cursed Wolf  EmptySat Oct 26, 2013 9:36 pm

Sorry for the late response.

So I went over your biography and had a few things that I needed to mention.

1. The way that the claws are torn out and the skull is scratched open, both of those would've killed a wolf.

2. Teeth would not be extra sharp from excessive use, they may be jagged from being cracked, they would most likely be blunt and dull though after large amounts of use. Also, how do you excessively use your jaws?

3. No wolf is going to be thinking she's cursed unless she goes on about being cursed, and most likely they'd just think her to be a loon.

4. You said she avoids fights and is peaceful, however she would kill if ordered too. This seems contradictory.

5. You say she is strong headed, stubborn, and selfish, yet she is loyal to a fault. What happens if she is told to do something she doesn't want to?

6. A hardened heart to physical pain does not mean that the pain will not hurt like hell, and have her begging for someone to stop. Do you mean she can close her mind off to it?

7. In saying that your howl will make others run, or leave them with a chill to the marrow, is a no no. That is power playing.

8. A wolf would notice that very specific scent on another wolf if there were an 'affair'.

9. A pregnant wolf would not be able to kill another wolf easily, especially an alphess.

10. Now this may be opinion, however, I find it hard to believe that no one in the pack would be like "Oh where's the alphess?". That seems highly unlikely.

11. We do not do reincarnation.

12. Wolves are a pack, not a monarchy, they are not married off to another or betrothed.

13. In this world witches do not exist.

I know it's a long list but those things do need to be fixed.
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